Tuesday, 29 May 2018
Spike Milligan's The ABC
'Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"
Said A to B, "I don't like C; His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C Is a semi-circular back!"
"I disagree," said D to B, "I've never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be An uncompleted O."
C was vexed, "I'm much perplexed, You criticise my shape.
I'm made like that, to help spell Cat And Cow and Cool and Cape."
"He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!" Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!"
"You're dropping me," roared H to G. "Don't do it please I pray."
"Out of my way," LL said to K. "I'll make poor I look ILL."
To stop this stunt J stood in front, And presto! ILL was JILL.
"U know," said V, "that W Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five I'm half as young as he."
X and Y yawned sleepily, "Look at the time!" they said.
"Let's all get off to beddy byes."
They did, then "Z-z-z."